Epiphanies of the week, October 2010

• People will always have expectations from you. 
  They will expect you to be a certain way and do certain things. 
  And you will find yourself trying to please them and cater to their expectations, many a times without even wanting to. This will tire you, and one day your will realize that people are never satisfied no matter what you do. It will make you feel like giving up. 
  It will make you feel like just being yourself and not caring about what others think of you.
  
  And then you may realize that you don't know who you are and what it feels like to just be yourself, because you have been so busy trying to be what others want you to be. 
  
  
  Don't wait for that moment. Find your true self now. 
  Fulfill your own expectations of yourself. Become at peace with yourself. 
  When you do that, you'll notice that everyone else is at peace with you too. 
  
• Don't stop working on being the best that you can be. 
  We either stop because it seems that its too hard to reach our highest potential - too much to do, too much to change, to much to be. 
  Or we stop because we feel that we are good enough as we are, call it inertia, laziness, lack of self motivation, or 'if it aint broke, why fix it'?
  
  If you are amongst the former group, rather than becoming intimidated by the enormity of the final result and becoming frozen with fear - 
  try focusing on one small step at a time, enjoy it, revel in it, own it. When you do this, you will realize that in this case its the journey 
  that is more fulfilling than reaching the destination. 
  
  If you are amongst the latter group, don't short-change yourself by being complacent.
  Be kind to yourself - allow yourself to discover the joy of experiencing your most empowered vision. 
  
•  Being evolved is not about living without negative experiences in your life - its about how many experiences you can stop labeling as negative. 
  The more you view each experience as a learning opportunity, the more easily and quickly you disarm its negativity and access its inherent positivity.
  Because every single experience that you attract in your life is there to help you grow, and you will find it quite difficult to grow if you're wasting time viewing the experience as painful and burdensome. Allow your perspective to change, so that you can find the goodness in each experience that you have attracted, and grow with ease and grace.
•  How much good can you accept?
  
  Good is flowing to you every day. 
  
  How much of it you experience depends on how much of it you can accept.
  
  And how much of it you can accept depends upon how 'worthy' you believe that you are.
  
  Neale Donald Walsh
• Many of us are fearful of change. 
  Our first reaction to change is usually that of distrust & discomfort. 
  But the fact remains that change is the only constant in life, it is what brings about evolution. 
  So how about 'if you can't beat em, join em'?
  How about welcoming every change with the faith that it is for your best and highest good?
  How about seeing change as an opportunity to grow and evolve?
  
• Which thoughts and feelings are you choosing today?
  
  You have the complete power at every moment to choose the thoughts and feelings 
  that declare to the universe that you are kind and good to yourself, that you deserve 
  kindness and goodness in your life from within and outside of you. 
  
  Or you can choose to experience the ones that expose to the universe how much 
  you constantly punish yourself through anger, frustration, hurt and pain - and how 
  open you are to all of that punishment from the outside. 
  
  You know there's a choice right?
•  Moaning and groaning about things changes nothing, and never does anyone any good.
  
  If you don't want to do anything to change it, stop complaining about it.
  
  If you can't do anything to change it no matter how much you want to, then accept it for now
  
  and simply resolve to create a different tomorrow -- but don't let today be ruined while you are waiting.
  
  Neale Donald Walsch
•  Whether you are in a relationship or looking for one - 
  if you are expecting or waiting for someone to 'complete' you, 
  you may have to wait forever. 
  
  2 halves do not make a whole when it comes to relationships, 
  because both partners enter the relationship looking for things 
  they need from the other, to fill their own voids and incompleteness,
  thus creating more lack, more disappointment, more unmet expectations. 
  And so the circle that forms with the 2 halves coming together - the relationship - 
  does not grow, it just cannibalizes itself, growing weaker from within, 
  collapsing due to the pressure. Best case scenario - the relationship stagnates 
  and does not grow over time.
  
  On the other hand, if you look within yourself to find completion, 
  when you love and accept yourself unconditionally, when you are at peace 
  and secure within yourself, you have the capability of attracting a partner who 
  is also whole and complete. And together you come together as 2 whole circles, 
  creating a much bigger and stronger one. 
  Together you have the potential of creating a relationship that is fulfilling and 
  allows both partners the space to evolve and grow to their highest potentials. 
  
•  Why have we become so reliant on using negative beliefs to lead us to positive experiences?
  We use fear of losing our job to motivate us to wake up in the morning to go to work. 
  We use dissatisfaction with what we have to motivate us to get more, better, bigger things in our lives. 
  We use beliefs like 'life is hard, no pain no gain, we have to struggle to grow' to motivate us take the 
  long, hard, uphill road to get where we want. 
  
  Have we become so used to negative reinforcements through our parents, schools, communities 
  that even after we grow up, we just don't know better? There are so many other teachings that we 
  leave behind, grow out of, add our own perspective to...
  
  So why have we still not realized that using positive beliefs will lead us to positive experiences more easily 
  and also keep us in the positive space more consistently? Imagine going on a journey and from the start till the end, 
  you have a terrible trip, everything goes wrong and you reach your destination drained, bruised and afraid. 
  How will you feel when you reach the destination? Chances are that you wont have any energy to enjoy it, 
  you will need time to recuperate, and the destination will seem not as good as you were expecting it to be - anti climax. 
  Or you may feel jubilant that you have reached and the destination was totally worth the struggle, but in the long run 
  you will definitely think twice about making a journey again - getting stuck. 
  Now imagine that the trip went really well, you enjoyed each step pf the journey, and reached the destination energized, 
  positive and content, not only to reach the destination but to have have had a great journey.
  Chances are that you will really enjoy the stay, and also be raring to go on the next trip - win win situation. 
  
  So how about using gratitude for your job and loving what you do be the motivator to get you out of bed each morning?
  How about being satisfied with and enjoying what you are and have be the motivator to get you more of the good stuff - 
  if I'm so happy now, imagine how much happier i will be when I get more!
  How about enjoying every step and moment of your life, feeling grateful, peaceful and blessed to be on this journey?
•  When you have made a mistake and hurt someone whom you value, become very very humble. 
  Acknowledging and accepting your mistake to yourself and to the other person is the first step towards forgiveness. 
  The second step is to allow the person their own time to forgive you, don't force them to forgive just because you have accepted your fault; some people take longer to cool down than others, respect this fact and give them the space and time to heal. 
  The third step is consistency, stick to your apology, don't keep changing your tactic because they have not responded positively right away, don't resort to emotional blackmail to make them forgive you, because that forgiveness doesn't come from the heart. 
  The fourth and most important step is, when the forgiveness does come, value it - do your utmost best to not take it and the person forgiving you for granted, don't forget the learning that you gained out of the experience.
•  In every experience that you choose to bring into your life, and that means all experiences - are you being the best that you can be?
  First, have the courage to acknowledge that all experiences are chosen by you, in mutual agreement with God/ the universe/ whatever it is that you refer to as the source. Nothing is thrust upon you unilaterally against your will. You choose some experiences as catalysts to help you grow and learn something important about yourself, and get introduced to your strengths; and you choose others as rewards, 
  and rest and recharge periods. 
  Once you have acknowledged that - consider all aspects of your life - especially the ones that may not be up to your expectations - your job, your relationships, with others and with yourself, your health, your finances....ask yourself if you're being the best that you can be in each situation? Are you complaining, playing the victim, getting angry and frustrated, trying to end it and run from it? 
  Yes? Is it helping to change the situation? If not, its probably a good idea to employ a new tactic now. 
  Why not practice making the most of each situation and seeing it as a learning, growing experience?
  How about being thankful to it for being in your life to empower you and help you know more about your strengths? 
  How about being present in the moment so that you don't miss even one important second of it? 
  Try this tactic wholeheartedly and consistently with just one of the 'unwanted' situations in your life.. 
  the results will compel you to apply it every situation henceforth. 
  
•  How do you feel when you think about your job or your profession? 
  If you feel content, excited and fulfilled; then chances are that you are following 
  the vocational path that your soul has chosen for you. When this happens, 
  all you need is to do what you do in the best possible manner, just with the intention 
  of enjoying yourself, without being attached to the outcome; and you get appreciated 
  and rewarded for it naturally. 
  
  If you feel tense, unhappy and stuck when you think about your job or profession;
  then it is time to allow yourself to experience what your soul desires for you to do 
  and be. Don't pretend you don't know what it is that you are meant to be doing. 
  You can feel it in your gut whenever you think about it or see another person doing it. 
  
  You don't have to quit your day job to pursue your passion, just start indulging in it 
  in your spare time, and the rest will just take care of itself. This will not only help you 
  to be more connected with your chosen vocational path, but it will also make you 
  happier in your day job, as you will feel less stuck and stifled. 
  Go ahead - It is now time to make time for the vocation that fulfills your soul. 
  
•  Try this for a week: become happy with and grateful about what is good in your your life, rather than what's not.
  Start becoming aware of your thoughts, and as soon as you catch yourself thinking of what is missing or isn't right, guide your thoughts away from that to something is right and perfect. 
  It is that simple and doable - you don't have to try too hard, there are always things and people and situations around you that you can be thankful for, all you need to do is to train yourself to see and find the goodness in your life, rather than automatically picking up the smallest flaws. 
  
  After the week is over, go ahead and decide which thoughts and feeling you prefer to experience. 
  The ones that make you feel lacking, not good enough and unlucky; or the ones that make you feel blessed, content and at peace.